William Shakespeare's The Nightmare Before Xmas
by Mrs. Smith
Summary: Unfinished. Answers the question everyone has been dying to know: What would The Nightmare Before Christmas be like if written by Shakespeare to be performed at the Globe Theater? In the process of being rewritten.
1. Prologue

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is written in the style of 16th century playwright William Shakespeare, whose work is widely accepted as literature. I ask you view it not as script format, but as a respectable imitation of the work of the Bard.

* * *

(Enter PROLOGUE.)

PROLOGUE. Once, long ago, much more than you think,  
In a place you, mayhaps, have observèd in dreams  
Did the story to follow this prologue take sink:  
At the Holiday Lands' extremes.  
Methinks you may wonder whence holidays come.  
The answer is plain: from Holiday Lands;  
(Some festive, some trying, and then doleful some.  
Each joyous or sad as occasion demands)  
For you see now, full simply, that is what they do:  
Create one certain holiday, producèd for you.  
Alas! There once happèd a great calamity  
When it chancèd two holidays met, you will see...

(Exit.)


	2. ACT I: Halloweenland

**ACTUS PRIMUS. SCOENA PRIMA.**

(Enter CHORUS, MAYOR, CLOWN, WITCHES and SALLY.)

ALL. Gentles, whether lady or man,  
Perchance you wonder at our land?  
Come with us, and you will see  
This our town of Hallond Eve.  
We know our home in this town,  
And its praises we note in song.

Hither and hence we sing our song  
Thither and thence to e'ry man.  
At this night we leave our town  
And go forth, athwart the land,  
For but once does Hallond Eve  
Come each year for all to see.

If you convey, you shall then see  
Wherefore we require a song.  
In our home of Hallond Eve  
We admire but one man:  
Skeleton Jack rules our land,  
And is lov'd by all the town.

You will think, when in this town,  
"What surprise shall we next see?"  
Be not afeared within our land,  
Sing you, rather, a merry song;  
For now each and every man  
Must enjoin to Hallond Eve.

At this place of Hallond Eve,  
All who dwell within the town,  
Be they spirit, fiend, or man;  
It is certain that all will see  
The pumpkins sing their song:  
So may it be throughout the land!

Whether here or in your land,  
Everyone from Hallond Eve  
Knows full well they sing their song  
To honor the head of town:  
And so King Jack you soon shall see,  
That you may praise the man.

Throughout our land and in our town,  
Callèd Hallond Eve, as you now see,  
The song of the pumpkin; hail each man!

(Enter JACK.)

CLOWN. Now it is all over and completed.

MAYOR. 'Twas a noted Hallond Eve, for certain.

JACK. I will credit hitherto it was  
The most horrible. Thanks, everybody.

MAYOR. Yet not one deserving thanks but you, Jack.

JACK. No, no, Lord Mayor.

1st WITCH. Y'are the best, I deem,  
And, all the more, a witch's fondest dream.

2nd WITCH. Ay, by your power, you could make a wall  
Crumble at a glance, collapse, and fall.

1st WITCH. Merely make a wall fall? Ay, alack!  
Nay, you could make the very mountains crack, Jack!

(Enter DOCTOR.)

DOCTOR. The deadly nightshade that thou slippèd me,  
Upon this early morning, now is spent.  
I gathered from thy foolish asks to see  
That out parading is where thou had went.

SALLY. Release mine arm, I beg to thee, good sir!

DOCTOR. Thou art not prepared to join such an event.

SALLY. But that I am!

DOCTOR. Thou shalt come along.

SALLY. I will not, upon my truth, I tellest!

(She removes her arm and hides.)

MAYOR. Come hence, gentles, and let us now proclaim  
The honors and the trophies of this night.  
The fearfulest and foulest be named;  
And then we will confer the gifts upon  
Those, our soon-sworn champions of fright.

(Exit MAYOR, WITCHES, CLOWN, and CHORUS. Exit DOCTOR, to his own house.)

JACK. Ay me. Have I been cursèd, that each passing year  
Will hence resolve itself as did the last?  
This once was special land, but now I fear  
It keeps itself in semblance of the past.  
It worsens more this melancholy curse,  
That my talents are renowned awide.  
With mere a mote of effort it occurs  
That even the most brave do run and hide.  
Yet now it happens that, within my bones,  
So heavy-made with woe through happy-need,  
A pain, an empty sense, in languor moans,  
For fell is my misfortune here indeed;  
And that same moan doth put this in my mind:  
My grief lies onward, and my joy behind.

(Exit JACK.)

SALLY. Alas! Sweet Jack, I know your sorrows well.  
But, already, he has gone from here.  
And, now, must I hasten home -- for my limb,  
Of pallid hue and stitchèd in its make,  
Alone there lies, abandoned by her dame.  
But stay! Methinks I see my herb. And yes, I do indeed:  
That deadly nightshade, from the ground grown green.  
As I am low of it, I shall collect  
A nosegay for the Doctor to suspect. (She picks nightshade)  
The Venetians call thee "belladonna"  
And I will gladly flatter you by that,  
For thou art but my only hope to scape  
So I might gaze upon fair Jack again.

(She goes to her house. DOCTOR enters by answering the door.)

DOCTOR. Sally, thou art come back to me once more.

SALLY. I discovered it was necessary.

DOCTOR. Ay, because of this. (He holds up the arm.)

SALLY. That is certain fact.

DOCTOR. It is twice now in this single month  
That thou hast made my drink bespicèd well  
With deadly nightshade, and in treachery  
Fled your maker's home without concern.

SALLY. 'Tis thrice.

DOCTOR. Thou knowest thou art property:  
I fashioned thee myself with mine own hand!

SALLY. Wherefore dost thou not another fashion?  
I suffer from disquiet, sigh and moan,  
And would a divers life, for I've no peace;  
And even if I would, I could not turn it.

DOCTOR. It is but your posture, merely passing  
Through a circumstance. It shall subdue,  
But if only thou wilt repose and act with patience.

SALLY. But even that request offends my will.

(Exeunt.)

SCOENA SECUNDA.

(Enter MAYOR.)

MAYOR. 'Tis time anew for Hallond Eve's devices,  
Constructed all afresh for this next year.  
But where is Jack? He must be in his house. (He knocks on the door)  
Holla, Jack, hereout with you, I pray!  
The Hallond Eve designs need work today.  
He answers not; I'll try another time.  
Good Jack, pray, sir, make answer me!  
Your aidance hence is needed here! O Speak!  
He yet remaineth dumb; and for what cause?  
Speak, speak! King Jack! I beg to thee! Confirm!  
And nothing still! Ay, what emergence here?  
Be he not at home? If so, where might he be?  
A council must form, so that we soon may see.

(Exit MAYOR.)


	3. ACT 2: Christmastown

ACTUS SECUNDUS. SCOENA PRIMA.  
  
(Enter JACK.)  
  
JACK. How now! What place is this?   
'Tis nowhere I have been, for certain.  
By what conduct did I arrive here?  
I memory pathing through the wood  
(While in my melancholy state)  
For the passage of the whole night.  
In my dismal wand'ring and walking  
It seems I have happ'd upon someplace new.  
  
What's this that with such hues attacks mine eyne?  
What's this that with such motes attacks my bone?  
I gaze about this novel world divine  
And find I feel my miseries are gone.  
What's this which causes people to sing songs?  
What are these meats that people use to cloy,  
Gathered about together in throngs   
Appearing filled with bliss and with joy?  
I fear I be but seized with antic here,  
For certes, sweet boy, you've drifted to a dream  
And that is why these visions did appear.  
But no; the sights and sounds too real do seem.  
This joy, this love, this feeling all around;  
I must conceit this place that I have found!  
  
'Tis not a supposition, most certain,  
For all too clear I touch and smell and see.  
I'd almost dare to not go home again,  
For being here inspir's such joy in me.  
In truth, my woe has been discomfited  
And fruition returns now to my breast.  
My unhappiness has been outwitted:  
Pardee! I have succeeded in my quest!  
Still lacking screams, this place is yet complete.  
Ah! What's in here? An ornamented tree?  
With such gayness this land is quite replete,  
Though, I know not what all these items be;  
All things which in my home would seem amiss.  
Sans regard I have to know: What is this?  
  
(He walks into a sign and reads it.) Christmastown? La!  
To Hallond Eve must I now regress,  
That I might explain this all.  
Forsooth, my subjects would surely wish to know  
Everything of this happy place.  
But first I shall collect some fragments  
So I'll not merely tell, but show!  
  
(Exit Jack.) 


	4. ACT 3: Halloweenland

*Jekyll and Hyde as well as Vampires would be unknown to an Elizabethan audience. Therefore, out of desperation, I have replaced them with a gnome and a generic demon.  
  
ACTUS TERTIUS. SCOENA PRIMA.  
  
(Enter *GNOME, *DEMON, CLOWN, WEREWOLF, WITCHES, MAYOR, CHORUS.)  
  
MAYOR. Advance ye! Hither and hence; come!  
Gather round, all, and hear my plea:  
'Tis of most marked importance that Jack be found!  
There are but 365 days that remain  
'Till Hallond Eve comes 'round again!  
  
WEREWOLF: Nay; 364.  
  
MAYOR. Might there be some locale  
That has thus far escaped our considering wits,  
And so we have yet neglected to search?  
  
CLOWN. With mallet firm and steadfast bar,   
I went and pri'd each tomb on char;  
And yet, 'twas all for naught.  
  
WITCHES. In like manner   
We unshut e'ry box and casket.  
  
GNOME. Over hill, over dale,  
Over park, over pale,  
Through brush, through briar,  
Through swamp, through mire,  
And through that accurs'd pumpion patch sought I.  
  
DEMON. Ay! And I, the eye of the Cyclops.  
  
CHORUS. Forsooth! Is it even so?  
  
DEMON. Certes, but he was not there.  
  
MAYOR. Out upon it!   
It's time to sound the alarum-bell!  
  
(A member of the CHORUS starts to ring the bell. SALLY comes out of her house.)  
  
SALLY. Ay me! What brings on us this most harrying noise?  
  
DOCTOR. (Calling from inside the house) Sally? Has my noonday sup as yet been effected?  
  
SALLY. (Calling back) Anon, good Doctor, anon.  
(Aside.) 'Tis but a matter of seething a peck of nightshade therein.  
  
(She returns to the house.)  
  
MAYOR. Has that, perchance, brought forth King Jack?  
  
CLOWN. Nay. It has not.  
  
MAYOR. Ay, alack! Where could he be?  
Has anyone thought to dreg the lake?  
  
DEMON. I did, early this morning.  
  
(JACK rides in on a sleigh laden with presents. All on stage greet him happily.)  
  
MAYOR. Jack! Gods be praised!  
We've waited on you  
'Till almost half-crazed.  
To ease up this worry,  
I ask to be told:  
Where have you been?  
  
JACK. Accite a meeting of the townsfolk,  
And I will account for all.  
  
MAYOR. On what day?  
  
JACK. On this day.  
  
MAYOR. Hear ye! Hear ye all!  
Our King has come back.  
He desires us to attend him  
At a meeting of the town.  
Spread the word to all you see,  
And be absolute that all agree.  
  
(Exeunt.) 


End file.
